Yours To Hold
by roflcopters
Summary: The greatest thing you'll ever learn...' RikuxTifa, with other pairings. Some language/violence. R&R !
1. Chapter 1: New Faces

_I've never been the biggest fan of Riku, he's just always seemed kinda…blah. I decided to write something from his perspective, and once I started, I realized that, you know what, Riku isn't as boring and annoying as I thought he was. Actually, I've surprisingly come to love him. Anyway, lately I've felt bad for Riku 'cause he ain't got no woman! I'm a little sick of all the SoraxRiku pairings, so I'd thought I'd get a lady for poor, lonely, not-gay Riku. This is right after the ending of KH2. The only things I've changed is that the King's letter never was received (or written, for that matter) and also, Tifa is about 16 or 17. Sorry in advanced for the Selphie-bashing. I don't dislike Selphie, I just decided to see her from Riku's eyes instead. And it turned out to be pretty funny too, if I do say so myself._

* * *

"I know you think it doesn't matter, sweetie, but the fact is that it does. You need to pass this class or you won't be graduating next year." 

"But _Mom,_" I didn't mean to whine, but I was desperate. No way was I going to have a perfect reputation ended by something like this. "Nobody even speaks Spanish anymore."

"That's not the point. It's a required course and I won't let my son fail eleventh grade." She said it in that strict, demanding tone that always makes me wonder if she really even cares.

"But…"

"I don't want to hear about your 'but', Riku."

_Real funny, Mom. Just hysterical._

"I'll call the school first thing in the morning and talk to the principal about this," she ignored my eye-rolling and turned to face the sink again. Pulling her wavy brown hair into a knot on the back of her head, she leaned over and scrubbed at the dirty dishes.

"Okay…" I tried to hide my feeling of defeat from creeping up and invading my words, but the attempt was to no avail. That predictable, I'm-right-and-I-know-it smirk spread across my mother's face, but was replaced a moment later with an overall look of sympathy. She cocked her head in my direction.

"I only do this because I love you."

I nodded.

_Yeah, right.

* * *

_

Sora waved me over to join him and the others who now stood in a cluster in front of the school. Walking over, I couldn't help but notice the very obvious fact that his arm was not-so-casually draped across Kairi's shoulders. After two months, I should have gotten used to seeing the two's public displays of affection, but it still surprised me. If it had been a couple years earlier, I would have popped Sora a good one for even touching her, but I guess I can't do that anymore. Somewhere along the line, I had lost my right to love Kairi as any more than a best friend. I felt lucky to be allowed even thatprivilege. Her smiling blue eyes told me that she forgave me for everything. If only I could forgive myself.

"Wussa, brudda? Wakka gave me a friendly slap on the back. I wondered if I should go through to predictable morning greeting routine, or if I should actually answer his question.

_Actually, I'm failing Spanish. Though what little free time I have will now be used for tutoring, I'll probably still fail._

"Hey guys!" What they don't know won't hurt me.

"Hi, Riku!" I jumped a little at the sound of that familiar screechy voice penetrating what would otherwise be a pleasantly uncomfortable silence. Probably out of fear for my own sanity, I hesitated to look down into those piercing green eyes. They were eyes that seemed to survey me with not-so-hidden intentions of doing only God knows what to me. Quite honestly, I didn't even want to know what that horny little girl was thinking of at the moment.

"Hi, Selphie." I mumbled the greeting with a straight, emotionless face. If I tried hard enough, maybe she wouldn't misinterpret a simple hello as something more along the lines of _please bear my children_.

"Did you have a wonderful weekend?"

Translation: _I would be more than happy to bear your children._

Damn my boyish charm and irresistible good looks.

I'm only kidding.

Instead of answering, I pretended not to hear. That wasn't exactly believable, since the overly-perky brunette's voice could wake the dead. Mentally distancing myself from the group, I absent-mindedly looked around the courtyard. As usual, the sidewalks were covered in randomly spaced clusters of white-and-blue-clad students who awaited the school day with a lack of enthusiasm that never surprised me. Out of the corner of my eye, though, I noticed a break in the predictable pattern of teenagers gathering together as if their life depended on not being alone (and maybe it did). I turned to see a female figure bravely standing alone amidst the swarming children. She was far away and had her back turned to me, so I couldn't see her face. I noticed, though, that a few individuals nearer to her were eyeing her with intentions I couldn't decipher. My concentration was interrupted suddenly by another familiar (though definitely less obnoxious) voice.

"What are you looking at?" I turned to see Sora trying to follow my gaze. His face had a puzzled look on it, but suddenly his eyes widened and he flashed a surprised grin first at me, then over at Kairi. She was just as uninformed as I was, and she gave Sora a confused stare. Suddenly, he broke his hold on her and ran over toward the lone girl I had just noticed. He waved both his arms in the air as if to say, _over here_.

"Tifa!"

_Tifa?_

I looked over in time to see the girl whip around and face the direction of Sora's call. She rushed over with a relieved smile on her face.

_Uh…whoa._

I'm not one of those guys who have only sex on their mind 24/7. Ok, I admit, I do fall into the thinking-with-a-body-part-other-than-your-brain trap every once in a while, but I'm certainly no Selphie. But can you blame me for not being able to help but notice the obvious? Swallowing uncomfortably, I nudged Wakka in the ribs. Knowing him, he'd have no problem going off about her body.

_Don't even start, man._

Over the past year and a half, I've gotten myself out of seemingly impossible situations time and time again. But no matter what I've been capable of in the past, Wakka is still an idiot. Thankfully, though, he seemed to take the hint and shut up.

"I knew I'd find you around here somewhere!"

I fought the growing temptation to look down at the way her collared white shirt clung to her chest, and I concentrated on her face instead. Her big eyes could have easily been written off as simply being brown, but upon further inspection, it was easy to see how they were marked with flecks of gold and swirls of dark red. Her long, straight hair was a very dark brown. If we had been inside, it might even look black, but in the bright sunlight, it had very subtle golden highlights. In contrast to most of the other girls at school who seemed to find the need to wear a pound of makeup just to "play up their drab attire" (Selphie's words, not mine), the girl's face was pleasantly free of "beauty" products.

I wonder how many people bother to look up and see how beautiful she really is.

"I didn't know you moved here?" Sora seemed to be blissfully unaware of his friends standing around him with puzzled looks on our faces.

"Yeah, just a few days ago."

"What about—" Sora started, but was interrupted before he could finish.

"No, just me!" her voice was cheerful but her smile had faded as she somehow knew what he was going to ask.

"Oh." Sora nodded solemnly, though his face was a little confused for a moment. As is his nature, he changed the subject to avoid the uncomfortable silence.

"Guys, this is Tifa. Tifa, this is Riku, Wakka, Selphie, and…" he paused, smiling at his girlfriend (I still can't believe it). "…Kairi."

"Hi!" Tifa waved politely, then looked over at Kairi with a certain gleam in her eyes. "Hi, Kairi." She then elbowed Sora and winked. Her gentle shove pushed him toward her, and Sora blushed. I guess even he hadn't gotten used to the idea of them being a couple. I noticed the slightly angry, jealous look on Kairi's face suddenly changed to a more pleased one, now that she realized that Sora had been talking to another girl about her in a way that would make Tifa react like that. I watched as he once again proceeded to put his arm around her, her face flustering. A little more sickening was how she giggled as he held her.

I used to be able to make her giggle like that.

"AWWW!" Selphie's horror of a voice cried out in glee as she watched Sora and Kairi. "I wish _I_ had a boy that would hold me like that!"

_Oh, no._

Her hands clasped in front of her, she looked over at me with a goofy grin and those wide, evil green eyes. I think she was trying to be seductive.

I could feel my ears burning red as I tried to ignore what I realized was her attempt at flirting. Ever since preschool, I think Selphie has always had a crush on me, but it's gotten worse and worse as the years go by. It got especially bad after the unfortunate day at the tender age of twelve when she wandered into the adult section of the library and suddenly started reading big, sleazy romance novels. That, and the raging teenage hormones had turned her into the little whore she is today. I'm not surprised, though, to learn that she's apparently "saving herself" for me (I heard this from Sora, who heard it from Kairi, who of course heard it from the devil herself).

Needless to say, I have nightmares.

_Brrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnng_

There is only one other noise I abhor as much as Selphie's voice, and that is the morning bell. I find myself wincing in pure agony as I hear it day after day (minus weekends and holidays!). As usual, Kairi runs off, eager to begin another day of learning, and she drags a reluctant Sora along with her. Wakka wanders off without so much as a _later, bro_ and Selphie seems to have disappeared all together.

"Umm…" I say in oh-so intelligently as I realize I've been left alone with Tifa. I search my mind for something clever and impressive to say.

"Uh, welcome to Destiny Island High, I guess."

_Wow, Riku. You certainly have a way with words._

Her full lips curved up into a sweet smile. "Thanks."

I shrugged and smiled back. She looked down and studied a piece of paper she had been holding. I stepped back slowly, wondering if she wanted me to leave. Dozens of kids filed past, running into her petite frame and some staring quite rudely at her body. Her face became worried as she nervously apologized to those who had run into her. It was all very predictable: The sweet new girl getting taken advantage of and her feeling as if it is her fault. Suddenly, an especially large senior purposely shoved into her shoulder. She surprisingly was able to easily keep her balance, though he apparently intended to knock her over.

"Hey, you!" I usually didn't mess with the senior guys, mostly because they tend to underestimate what I'm capable of. Freshman year, I was more of a show-off, and that ended up in countless black eyes and once even a broken nose on my part. I'd guess I've grown up a lot in two years, now that I think about it. If there was one thing I'd learned from being away from home, it was not to pick fights unless necessary. But I also had a very important rule that I will always stick by: nobody messes with my friends.

But wait…does that make Tifa my friend?

"Excuse you?" he snarled back at me. The guy's name was Seifer. He moved from across town earlier in the year, and seemed to already be the self-proclaimed "leader" of his peers. Sora said that he'd met him once before, and to just leave him alone because he was a jerk, and not much else.

"No, excuse _you,_" I grabbed his arm and pulled him so we were face-to-face. He smirked and tried to yank free, but his expression changed to slight surprise when he found that he couldn't. His already narrow eyes became angry slits on his face as he glared at me.

"What the hell is your problem, man?" I shook my head at him and then glanced back over at Tifa, indicating that he had made a grave mistake by touching her. He followed my gaze and then laughed.

"You mean other than the fact that the little slut was in my way? No problem at all!"

I looked over at Tifa, who now wore a horrified, disgusted expression on her face which seemed to mirror how I felt at the moment. Poor Seifer. Today just wasn't his day. I grabbed his tie with one hand and pulled the other hand back behind my head. Before he had time to react, a clenched fist met his face, and he was on the ground a moment later.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of turning my back on him. I swung around to meet Tifa, but suddenly felt myself being pulled back by the collar of my shirt. There was a bright flash of light and a heavy blow against my cheek. Now I was the one on the ground.

"HEY!" Tifa's voice rang in the air with sudden and shocking anger and hate. I struggled to get up, but Seifer had got me good. I anticipated a kick in the stomach or something, but instead there was nothing. A second later, I heard the scrambling of running feet, and then a loud thud. The crowd that had gathered now _ooed_ and _ahhed_ in unison. When I was finally able to sit up, I never expected to see what I saw. The spectators had formed a circle, with Tifa in the middle of it. At her feet was Seifer, moaning in pain. I looked back up at her with wide eyes and saw that she, too, was just as surprised as I was at herself. But her shock turned to disappointment and she ran off through to crowds toward the building.

"Tifa!" I called as I got up. The audience had started to disperse as they realized that there apparently wasn't going to be anyone taking anymore punches. Even so, it was difficult getting through the crowds. I looked ahead frantically in search for her, but she had somehow been able to weave through the tight throngs of people quickly and easily. I'd lost her.

Once again, I'd sorely underestimated yet another of Sora's acquaintances.

* * *

_I hope you loved it! It's ok is you didn't. It's a really out-there pairing. But they'll be cute, I promise. I would love your feedback, hopefully of the positive variety. Please keep flames to yourself unless you have some constructive criticism. I have the next few chapters already written, and I'll put them up soon, but not until I start seein' some REVIEWS!_

_Oh yeah, some parts I was purposely very vague about, so if you have any questions about what went on, I'd be more than happy to explain._


	2. Chapter 2: Tutoring

After school, I ran over to meet Kairi, who was walking home alone.

"Riku! What happened to your eye?" Her face filled with worry as she examined the purple welt that had formed from Seifer's blow. Being a year younger than me, I never saw her during the school day, so this was her first time seeing it I guess.

"It's nothing. But…" I hesitated to ask. As if it wasn't humiliating enough to show her my black eye, I had to ask for her help with it.

Damn my fragile male ego.

I'm only kidding. Well, not really.

"Um, well, I was wondering if…"

She crossed her arms over her chest and gave me that annoying 'I-told-you-so' look that women seemed to make so frequently.

"You need me to help you cover it up so your mom doesn't see it."

Sometimes I wonder if she can actually read my mind, or if I just have my every thought written on my forehead.

"Yeah…kinda…"

She smirked and rolled her eyes playfully as if to say _I knew it_.

We talked as we made our way to her house. Since it was only two blocks from the school, the conversation was short, but I learned that Sora was at blitzball practice with Wakka and Tidus, and Selphie had gotten sick during the day and left school early. I can't say I felt bad about the latter.

Walking together just the two of us was nice. It reminded me of junior high, before everything happened and life had been much simpler. During those five minutes, it was the first time all day I completely forgot about the incident that morning, and I even forgot about Tifa for a moment. Though I learned from Sora at lunch that we were in the same grade, I never saw her at school.

Kairi's parents were still at work, so we stepped into an empty house. She led me into the bathroom and pulled out various containers of God only knows what. I sat on the counter as she dabbed her finger into some sort of cream, spreading it carefully around my eye. This actually isn't the first time I've had to do this, so I should be used to it, right?

Wrong.

I swallowed hard as she placed her hand on my shoulder. Her eyes narrowed in intense concentration while she blended the tan liquid on my face. I realized our faces were only about six inches apart, and I felt my heart skip a beat. I hoped she couldn't notice my face burning red.

Damn my raging hormones.

Ok, I really have to stop saying that.

Thinking, I mean. Not saying. Oh, this is so confusing.

"There!" she smiled and put away the makeup. I didn't realize I hadn't been breathing until she pulled away and I let out a deep breath. I hopped off the counter and looked in the mirror.

"Kairi, you are a miracle worker," I smiled back at her in the mirror as I examined my eye. Whatever junk she had put on it, it worked. What had been a black eye was now hardly noticeable.

"Why, thank you!" Her eyes shone playfully as she giggled.

"No, thank _you._ Really." I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized that I wouldn't get in trouble with Mom after all. I turned from the mirror to face Kairi, who was smiling.

"You're welcome," she shrugged.

I leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. This was a best friend privilege I certainly didn't mind.

Even though I've been here a million times, now I somehow I felt like I was betraying Sora's trust by being in Kairi's house. I told her I had to go and rushed out the front door.

"I'm home!" I called out to my mom about ten minutes later.

"Oh good, come here!" I followed her voice into the kitchen, where she's sitting at the table, right next to–

"Tifa!"

"Riku!"

Mom looked first at me, and then back at our visitor.

"Well I see you've already met your tutor!"

_What!_

I tried to look unsurprised, like it wasn't a big deal, but I could feel my ears get hot and my cheeks turn red as I realized that Tifa was going to be tutoring me. She looked just as shocked as I was. Apparently she hadn't known the loser who was failing Spanish was the same loser that she had to save from a bully this morning.

"Umm…yeah I guess," I took slow, deep breaths, trying to bring my face back down to a normal temperature and color. It wasn't working.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a minute, which Mom finally noticed.

"I have to get something at the store. See you later!"

"See ya," I replied, thankful that she broke the silence, but frustrated that I was again left alone with Tifa. Who knows what kind of a fool I'd make out of myself this time.

A moment later, we were the only ones in the house. I slid into a chair across the table from her, but couldn't find the nerve to look up.

"Hi," she said in a small voice, almost a question.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry."

I finally looked up, surprised. What was _she_ sorry for?

"For…earlier…" she continued.

"Why?"

Her eyes became cloudy and confused. She shook her head.

"I'm just sorry you had to stick up for me," she finished the sentence quickly. She looked down at her lap as if she was ashamed of something.

"Don't be. I'm sorry he's such an asshole," I didn't understand what she was apologizing for.

She shook her head again. "I'm sorry that I ran off."

"Me too."

She looked up suddenly, her chocolate brown eyes wide. We just looked at each other like that for a while, a disappointed look on my face and a surprised look on hers. After a moment, she squinted as if concentrating on something, then she laughed a little.

"Are you…wearing _makeup_?" She giggled more as my face reddened, answering her question.

It was embarrassing, but her laugh was contagious and I couldn't help but join in. Once I started laughing, it apparently became even more amusing to Tifa. She laughed harder, which in turn made _me _laugh harder. Suddenly we were both doubled over, clutching our stomachs and unable to breath. I managed to take a deep breath, but afterwards only continued in my hysterics. Neither of us seemed able to stop.

Eventually, I ended up on the ground, which caused Tifa to throw her head back and fall prey to yet another fit of giggles. Soon she had fallen out of her chair as well. After a minute, we were finally able to calm down. I took a deep breath.

"Yeah," I finally answered.

This produced more laughs, but they came out exhausted and half-hearted seeing as neither of us could breathe. At some point, it came to my attention that we were laying next to each other on the kitchen floor. I wonder what my mom would think if she walked in right now…

"Well then…" Tifa giggled as she sat up. "Now that I know you're a woman, we can get started!" she smiled playfully and offered a hand to help me sit up. I didn't bother retorting; I knew she was kidding. Instead of taking her hand, though, I stood up on my own and helped her up instead.

Maybe it's just that damn male ego.

She sat back down at the table and reached for a textbook.

_Spanish I._

"Hey, why don't we don't we do it upstairs?" I suggest.

'_Do it'. Whoops._

"I mean…" I started correcting myself, but Tifa either didn't notice the slip, or she totally noticed and cut me off purposely.

"Sure." She shrugged and picked up her stuff (the textbook, a spiral notebook, and various papers) and followed me up the stairs. I opened the door to the left of the staircase, revealing an exceptionally spotless room.

"Wow," she raised her eyebrows as she gave my room a once-over. "It's so…clean."

"Thanks," I shrugged, then threw my hands up in a joking manner. "What can I say? I like to know where stuff is."

Tifa laughs a little and nods. "Yeah, me too."

She walked farther inside, and I shut the door only halfway. As tempting as this girl was, I felt a lot of respect for her somehow. Maybe it was her sense of humor, or her smile. Or maybe it was the fact that she knocked out a guy twice her size without much hesitance.

That could be it.

I turned back around to see her sitting at the edge of my bed. This was a little…surprising, somehow. I mean, I didn't have a desk, and I hardly expected her to sit on the floor, but the fact that she was on my bed was definitely not comforting.

Damn my raging hormones! Damn every last one of them!

_Now, now, Riku. No need to panic. It's just a beautiful girl sitting on your bed in an empty house. Nothing out of the ordinary, right?_

WRONG.

I decided to sit on the floor next to her, leaning against the bed.

"Umm…I guess we could start with pronunciation?"

With intentional lack of enthusiasm, I thrust a fist into the air.

"Let's do it!"

_What is wrong with me?

* * *

_

**I'm so sorry that took me so long! I completely forgot I had posted the first chapter. Next chapter should be up soon. I hope you're liking it! Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3: Hasta Mañana

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or MySpace

_Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or MySpace._

Our first tutoring session lasted several hours, but as I expected, I remain just as fluent in Spanish as if I had lived under a rock my whole life. Well, maybe not if it was a rock in Mexico. Or Wal-Mart. Tifa did what she could, but it's only a matter of time before she realizes I'm only a lost cause. As I attempted to roll my tongue for the fortieth time in one afternoon, she suddenly jumped to her feet, abruptly panicked, and began shuffling the papers into a pile.

"I-I didn't realize how late it was! I have to get home!"

I hadn't realized the time either, and though I got up to help her get her stuff together, I was certainly in no hurry to get rid of her. Even though I had repeatedly proved my incompetence throughout the afternoon, I kept feeling the need to say something brilliant or charming that would just slay her. That brilliance had yet to show itself, but I held on to that small bit of hope I always had, a product of being close to the likes of Sora and Kairi. Some days I might want to smack some sense into the two, but I have always, and will always appreciate their naive optimism.

Opening the front door revealed a world cast under a deep orange hue as the sun slowly set in the sky. Tifa hopped down the front steps in a single stride with my own clumsy footsteps following behind._ It's now or never, buddy._ I turned to face her, wildly conscious of her soft breathing compared to mine, which was, needless to say, growing noticeably unsteady. I cleared my throat, an act that seemed to thrash violently through the quiet evening.

"So, um…tomorrow's Saturday. And…uh…"

I rubbed my arm as mosquitoes ate away at my tender, youthful flesh. Wow, that sounded really disgusting, didn't it?

"So…we were gonna go out to the island around 10 or 11 if you wanted to come too?" Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?

"Yeah, okay."

"Oh, uhhh…cool," I sputtered my words out, utterly surprised at her blatant acceptation. Throughout my life, I had grown pretty accustomed to disinterest and rejection. More over the last year or so than anything else. Actually, I used to be able to hold my own with the ladies, back in the short time between cooties and puberty. Unfortunately my glory days ended before I even started shaving. Becoming a dark, brooding evil and kidnapping a princess, the only person you've ever cared for more than yourself, can really ruin one's reputation.

Hm, it's times like these when a little shoulder angel Wakka pops into my head: "You such a fag, brudda!"

"That sounds fun." A sincerely kind smile graced her ivory cheeks as she nodded in farewell, turning to leave.

"Wait!" I called, intentionally at a tone that probably just screamed _desperate_. She swung back around, eyes wide in question.

"It's getting late."

"Um...yeah, I guess it is." She giggled unsurely, probably wondering why I'm such an idiot. I cleared my throat again. I probably should get that checked out, huh?

"I could walk you home if you want?"

"I can take care of myself," she replied harshly. This time I was severely taken aback. That was neither the response I hoped for nor expected to hear. Suddenly, though, her face softened. A face that was cheerful just a moment ago and then quickly changed to cold and defensive now looked like the face of a puppy that had been kicked one too many times. But as quickly as that expression came, it also left. Her shoulders straightened and her manner became as confident as she had been previously. With another kind smile, she looked me in the eye again.

"But I'd appreciate it."

While her change in attitude was a momentary blow to that fragile male ego, I wasn't about to get emo over it. She'd accepted yet another invitation, and I certainly was in no place to complain.

Walking through the neighborhood, I made several attempts at small talk, but all were shot down by silent, impersonal replies of shrugs and nods. Eventually I gave up, hoping not to ruin what was essentially still her first impression of me. I didn't know where she lived because she didn't tell me, but I walked beside her all the same. As it turned out though, I didn't have to wait long to find out. Our uncomfortably silent journey led us four blocks inland, not a stone's throw away from the high school.

Though by now the skies were a deep purple, the house was clearly visible in the light cast from the street lamps. The exterior looked much like every other house on the street: square and beige. The windows were eerily dark, except for one near the front door, where flickers of blues and yellows indicated the presence of a television. The chirps and buzzes of the nighttime wildlife engulfed the twilight in a loud but somehow comforting sound.

Tifa hesitated at the front door. She gave me a quick sidelong glance but turned her back to me, her hand hovering over the doorknob undecidedly. I hadn't understood why she was acting weird on the walk over, but now I was completely dumbfounded.

"Ummm...well I should be getting back home now..." I started, but she spun around to face me.

"Okay...goodnight," she said. She spoke softly, her farewell almost a whisper. A quiet sigh escaped her, and I studied her face for clues to what was wrong, since it was obvious that she was bothered by something. She didn't look me in the eye, and if I hadn't just met her, I would have asked her what was wrong. I took a few steps back, stepping off the front porch. "'Night, Tifa."

"Hasta mañana, Riku," she whispered. Damn Spanish.

"Yeah...umm...see you tomorrow," I called, hoping that would suffice as a response. Apparently it did, because she finally went inside. I turned around and headed down the driveway.

It had to have been well after seven by now, and Mom would be beyond pissed if I was gone much longer. After the whole me-disappearing-for-a-year-and-a-half thing happened, she's become somewhat overprotective of me, or at least that's been her intention. She never used to pay much attention to me when I was younger, usually engrossed in work and trying to handle being a single mom. It never really bothered me though; I thought an absence of parental attention was normal. I mostly just felt lucky to have a mom at all. I remember even at a young age always picking up after myself, doing all my homework right when I got home, making my bed every morning, even attempting to do my own laundry; just trying to stay out of her hair in desperate hope that she wouldn't leave me like dad had. I know better now that she wouldn't ever have abandoned me, but it's hard to believe that when you're seven and you don't even know your own father.

I sighed, a little bit of that ancient sadness creeping up in my chest. I pushed it away; it was nothing now. Instead of thinking too deeply over an issue that I'd already came to a closure with, I focused on the outside. The October night air was cool and sticky, a strange mixture of seasonal changes and proximity to the ocean. I thought about tomorrow, and the nice change of pace it will be to have a new face among the familiar. I wondered where everyone else was now, if they were enjoying their Friday. I figured Sora and Kairi were out doing something couple-y. Selphie was no doubt at home, probably on MySpace or something. Wakka was likely out with his annoying substance-abusing friends, probably doing things parents would shake their head and wag a finger at. There were kids at the movie theater, and maybe at the beach. Friends were having sleepovers and parties, some less moral-oriented getting wasted and/or knocked up. All these people, out living life in any way they chose. As for me, I chose to head straight home, upstairs, and into bed.

"Hey, Mom," I called into the house in a genuinely exhausted tone. She replied with something generic and motherly, but I was halfway up the stairs by then and didn't hear it. I didn't turn on the light in my room, or even bother to change into something more sleep-appropriate. I kicked off my shoes and flopped down face first onto the mattress. My alarm clock read 7:48. Normally I was more of a night owl, but not tonight. Sleep was the nature calling this time, and it wasn't going to wait much longer. Every thought, every worry I had drifted off to sleepy bye land, and I had one lone thought in my head as I fell into sleep: Today was weird. I smiled.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tifa hugged her knees to her chest as she sat crouched in the corner of her room. She stifled back tears, but it was more than she could manage this time. She was so sick and tired of repressing everything. It didn't help that he hit her either. She wiped her nose and lifted her shirt a little, revealing a greenish welt the size of a softball forming on her waist. Thank God he was drunk, she thought. He would've probably hit her in the head otherwise. She knew that was where he was aiming. She wondered why he hated her so much. She wondered if he was so hell bent on getting rid of her that he would even go so far as to kill her. Shivers ran up her spine as she realized he probably would hardly even hesitate to do so. She sobbed uncontrollably now, praying he had fallen asleep and wouldn't hear her. She ached terribly. She had always been so strong, but now she felt completely helpless. "Oh Dad," she mouthed silently. "Daddy, why did you leave me here?" She laid down on the ground, her hair sticking to her tear- and snot-streaked face. She cried for a while, until she fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4: Breakdown

There's quite a bit of language in this one

_There's quite a bit of language in this one. Try to see past if you don't like that kind of stuff, but I'm not going to apologize for it because I very much meant to put it in there. Thank you and good day._

**x x x**

She never showed up.

"HEADS UP!" Suddenly something hard and round slammed against the side of my face. Hot pain exploded across my cheekbone, but it barely phased me. A combination of worry and insult, emotions unrelated to my physical pain, numbed me. Blinding rays of white light, apparently belonging to the sun, brought a cold wetness to my eyes, but I didn't even squint.

"Are you okay?" said a voice. It was familiar but I didn't recognize it. I felt a rough hand against my shoulder and my body convulsed. There was a thunderous clap of sound in my left ear, and I came back to the world. I saw Sora, felt his surprisingly strong grip on my arm, but it was Wakka whose voice I heard.

"Dude, are you high?"

Ah, good ol' Wakka. Always looking out for me.

"Yeah..." I managed to croak. I rubbed my eyes. With closed eyelids, the world was on fire. I opened them, saw Sora again, but realized his hand was no longer on me. His grip had departed as if I had confessed to having a viciously contagious skin disease. I turned to see Wakka doubled over in laughter.

"Wait..." I shook my head, a tired sigh escaping my arid lips. "Yeah, _I'm okay_." My eyes flicked to Wakka's, my glare exaggerated by the screaming need to shield my eyes from the sun. "No, I'm not high."

"Huhn huhn huhh," his laugh subsided and he opened his mouth to reply. His arms folded against his bare chest and he shook his head. My stare was returned for a moment, but was followed up with not a snide remark, but the revisit of imbecilesque laughter. Wakka turned and staggered back to the volleyball game that had been interrupted, his voice reverberating in my skull.

I started to push myself up into a standing position. Sora's hand returned, this time around my wrist to assist. Suddenly I felt sickeningly dizzy. The world seemed to shift violently under my feet. Then I was spinning. Blues and greens and sandy browns swirled together and I would have fallen had Sora not been steadying me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ocean blue eyes studied my face in sincere worry. I looked back at him.

_It's a long way down._

Random? I don't know where the thought came from, but for the first time since we'd gotten back at the end of the summer, I realized just how much taller I was than Sora. He wasn't short in his own respect, but even a towering oak was small standing beside a mountain.

What the _fuck_?

Suddenly, shaking, swirling, spinning. My legs gave out from under me and my body finally gave in. The world wasn't spinning anymore. The world didn't even exist.

**x x x**

Adrenaline.

Eyes, open. Cold. Hand, face. Wet.

I jumped to my feet, let the moist cloth fall from my forehead. I didn't know where I was, and I definitely didn't know where I was going, but I ran. Eventually I realized I was still at the beach, still with friends, but separated from the others in a way that was not entirely physical. I saw them, but they weren't there. Part of me knew I was irrationalizing, but another part of me, evidently the part I was listening to, told me to act on instinct.

The beach didn't go on forever. I met bitter cold, unforgiving water. This caught me off guard, and a wave grasped me like the hand of a child holding a frog, not intentionally causing harm but underestimating it's own strength and threatening to crush it's guest. I pulled myself out of the water, shivering uncontrollably. After a moment, the blood began pounding through me again, and I became something else. Or someone else. My only thought was to get back to the main island, back home.

"Riku!"

It was Kairi. I couldn't tell if she was angry, or surprised, or even if I was just imagining her voice. Something was drawing me away from the island, and finally, after so long of pushing away the innate senses I once lived to fulfill, I was finally following my instincts. I don't know how I got off the island; logically, I must have taken a boat. Even still, I could have very well been walking on water, because I felt a force no less potent than God Himself pulling me home.

I stumbled onto the small dock , my knees weak but my mind urging me on. Sneakers pounded against rotting wood; through warm, soft sand; kicked up gravel. Suddenly I wasn't going home, I was heading downtown. Incoherent images raced past me, to my left, to my right. My destination was clear but I still couldn't see it.

I ran forever. Through alleys, backyards, in the middle of the street. Sure, I was being careless, but anything else would have required consciousness. I lost my mind the further I went, but for some reason I felt that if I reached wherever it was that I was going, I would understand. Just keep running...

I came to the end.

_Zell's._

A bar?

I stared at the building in front of me. It was stout and crooked and was literally falling apart. The roof hung low over the door, which didn't shut all the way. Sheets of plywood over broken windows obstructed any view I had into the interior. I stood there for few moments, panting deeply and trying to clear the fog from my head. Suddenly – shouting.

"Damn girl, I'm a paying customer and I expect what I came here for!" barked a man's voice coming from inside the bar. A couple angry shouts of agreement followed, and then a small female voice.

"I'm sorry, I can't serve you..."

"Like hell you can't!"

"You're a minor! I can't serve you!" she equaled the man's voice in volume now, and a chorus of _oooooohhhhhs _rang through the bar. I stepped toward the building and peered through the three-inch gap between the door frame and the door, which had come loose from one of the hinges holding it into place. Seifer, along with his loyal gang of ne'er-do-wells, stood with his back toward the door in a half-circle around the girl. I couldn't see her, but her voice sounded so familiar...

Seifer roared with anger. And I do mean _roared_. He flung his arm across his shoulder and around his body until his hand met a helpless wooden chair. Every ounce of his petty fury was behind that swing, and he threw the chair across the room and into a wall. He shook the impact from his hand and rolled it into a fist, his knuckles paling.

"Don't push it, kid," said the girl. Her voice had lowered but was suddenly icy and hateful.

Seifer lost it. "Kid? _KID?!_" I saw his punch before he even raised his fist. The door was almost torn entirely from the hinges as I threw myself through the doorway. I tripped over a loose floorboard and as I jumped back to my feet, I saw a flurry of black dodge Seifer's blow and dive between his legs, rolling out of the crowd of five.

"Tifa?"

I guess I should have known it was her from her voice, but working at a bar, and _this_ bar, in the very ghettoist of ghettos, was perhaps the last place I expected her to be. Seifer and his butt buddies had come all the way down here to harass her just because he couldn't get over his enormous ego.

And there I go about egos again...

Her eyes met mine, and in that tenth of a second, I saw in them deep, indiscernible sadness. Suddenly my heart broke for her, but I had to let go of that feeling, because in the same instant that she saw me, so did Seifer.

"_You_," he snarled, but I didn't give him the chance to act. My instincts flared up in the back of my mind like a good friend who had gone away for awhile, and an unexpected grin replaced what would have been a more appropriate look of anger. Again, I felt like I had become someone else.

You know that feeling you have when you've almost finished a whole freaking game of solitaire, and you know you're gonna win, but you still have to put all the kings and queens and jacks back in the right places? That was exactly the anxious sort of pleasure I had as my clenched fist met Seifer's deserving jaw. There was a satisfying _crack_, and for a split second I mistook it as my own selfish knuckles shattering from the blow.

Chappu, one of Seifer's newest and youngest followers, though no less sycophantic than any of his other minions, lunged toward me. His fourteen years were no match to my seventeen, and I dodged his flailing arms with little effort. My mind was no longer on revenge, and I spun out the door before the rest of the gang could jump me.

I didn't know where Tifa had gone, and I didn't want to wait around for Seifer to regain consciousness, so I ran in the direction I had come. The buildings and street names were strangers to me, and the unusually hilly landscape squeezed the last of the oxygen left in my lungs. After four or five blocks, I deviated from my course and turned into a dark, narrow alley. Slimy brick walls enclosed me in and a wooden fence blocked the outlet. I stepped up to the fence.

There had been times in my life that I had done things that probably defied even the most basic and universal laws of physics, and as I examined the 12-foot-high fence, I thought back to the days when cheating gravity was almost a hobby. A smirk stole my lips as I took a few steps backward...

A running leap toward the monstrous barrier brought my right foot against a, thankfully, strong work of fencing craftsmanship. Using the momentum of the jump, I pushed off the fence and slammed my left foot into the adjacent brick wall. My hands merely brushed the top of the fence as I swung my legs over my head and literally flipped over in midair. Though the thrill of the fall brought a spectacular rush in the pit of my stomach that I hadn't felt in months, I got cocky a little too soon, and the stupid grin I had plastered to my face faded as I realized I wasn't going to be alone when I hit the ground.

She screamed. I couldn't blame her either. I probably would have screamed, too, honestly.

"OMYGOD!" Tifa yelped before she let herself collapse against the wall. She buried her face into her knees and her hands shook. That same aching I had seen in her eyes at the bar was actualized now in the way her body slowly rocked back and forth on her heels.

"Tifa…oh, I'm so sorry!" And I meant it. Seeing her so upset was dispiriting enough, but to know it was by my own hand tore my heart to pieces. Normally I would have never been so submissive to apologize, and these were emotions I rarely felt so strongly, but something about this girl brought up ancient feelings I used to bury beneath a rougher exterior.

She didn't say anything, just rocked herself very slowly, breathing rhythmically in time with her movements. She didn't even look up. I tried not to take it personally, as it was surely more of a coping method. She had been shaken up pretty badly, and I sat down next to her very softly and steadily, trying not to upset her further.

"Hey…" I whispered after a couple minutes. Her breath wasn't as heavy anymore and she was sitting still. However, her face remained pressed against her knees. Hands gripped elbows, and her knuckles were painfully white. "That was pretty amazing. Standing up to Seifer like that..."

She still didn't acknowledge me, but I continued anyway.

"That's probably something I woulda done a few years ago. 'Course, I was all talk. You…" I watched her face, or where her face should have been. Wispy black hair covered her eyes and nose, and her mouth was barely visible shrouded beneath the shadow of her folded arms around her knees.

"…You seem to know what you're doing." I looked away, looked at the saturated brick across the alleyway. I remembered the way she had so easily dodged such a direct punch, and how she had dealt her own share of hits yesterday in the school courtyard. It was sort of…amazing, when I thought about it. Especially when compared to the few girls I ever found myself hanging around, namely Kairi and Selphie, who were the epitome of the I-don't-get-my-hands-dirty-God-forbid-I-ruin-my-manicure kind of folk, of course the latter more so than the former. As for Tifa...the girl was deceiving, to say the least.

"Seifer…he isn't like that usually. But you scared the hell out of him. If he can't control someone through intimidation alone, then…well, you saw what he did…" I trailed off, really hoping she would respond soon so I wouldn't end up saying something stupid while trying to fill the silence. But she didn't, and I, naturally, continued my mindless rambling.

"Where did you..." I stopped, hopped on another train, "That was amazing, what you did. It's about time someone put the jackass in his place..."

"I'm sorry, Riku."

It surprised me to hear her for some reason, and I jumped a little before I spun my head around to face her. Her forehead was red from pressing it against her arm but other than that, she looked just as composed as ever. Though there was little emotion in them, her eyes held no evidence of tears.

"What...?" Why does she keep apologizing?

"I'm sorry I didn't come today," she said as if it was so blatantly obvious. I stared at her for a few seconds and tried to figure out what the hell was going on. After what just happened...she was...? Her eyes assured there was no joke, but I was speechless.

Suddenly I was laughing. I didn't find it funny – actually, I found it completely ridiculous – but I was in hysterics. Her face didn't change at all, she watched me with the same blank expression. Slowly, though, an invisible force pulled at the corners of her lips, obviously in spite of herself. She didn't laugh, but a certain light ignited behind her eyes that momentarily drowned out everything else.

No words were necessary, all was forgiven and trivial anyhow. I pushed myself off the ground and turned to offer a hand. This wasn't needed though, and somehow I found myself in a breathless embrace. My heart stopped as Tifa's arms squeezed around my chest. I didn't hug back; I didn't even have time to process what on earth was happening. As quickly as her arms met my middle they just as soon left.

"Um...well I'll see you later..." she spoke quickly, as if she suddenly remembered she had to be somewhere. A thin hand brushed the back of her head, smoothing a cowlick that wasn't there. Before I could even manage a _see ya!_, she had run off, disappearing behind the ancient brick face.

I stood in the alley for a few minutes, very much confused and quickly realizing that I had no idea where I was. Sighing and shaking my head, I tentatively headed out the way Tifa had gone.

It was almost dark by the time I stumbled through the front door. I didn't stop for food or even to see if I wasn't alone in the house, and for the second night in a row, I fell into bed and welcomed sleep shamelessly.

**x x x**

_Eh, sorry, it's 3 in the morning and I totally half-assed the ending._

_I'm trying to keep this relationship from moving too fast, what do you think?_

_I'm also having a hard time keeping Riku in character. He was pretty obnoxious in KH1, but he wasn't really around all that much in the second one. A lot can change in a year or so, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. _

_Aside from that, I'm very proud of this chapter. It was a lot of fun to write, and I worked reeeeaaaal hard on it. That's your cue to review. Please & thank you_\ (/o) /

_EDIT: I don't know why Tifa can work at a bar. Just please overlook that for now._


End file.
